The second playlist I’ve made for Warm Visions takes a severe turn from the last one I made, Beach Ball Hell – A Summer Playlist. This one is not nearly as accessible and I don’t really recommend going into it while you’re cheery.
TW: This is a post and playlist about depression! If you’re dealing with depression and need help, you can go to Crisis Text Line to talk to someone right away. You can get through this!
There was a good portion of time recently where I was really struggling. I was existing in an extremely dark place with seemingly no end in sight. I felt as though I was a smear on a lens: faded, oily, unintelligible, susceptible to further smudging and hard to completely erase.
Thankfully I emerged from the tunnel, but like in all times in my life, a scrapbook of memories, feelings and sensations associated with songs and albums I consumed during that time was ultimately produced and chained to me, with most of its contents forever tainted by the heavy tar I bogged myself down with. Some of the songs that became infected were neutral upon their creation, but I wilted them to fit into my headspace. Others came to me naturally. The songs that were made to be listened to by someone living in a darkened, alternate dimension. Sadboy songs. I was indeed a sad boy, so it worked out perfectly. My cocoon was well-padded with depressing fodder.
This is a playlist of the songs that encapsulates how I experienced my life (for the most part) from late 2014 to mid 2017. It’s named after the second line of Slint’s “Don, Aman”, a song with a scenario I lived out in real time at a New Year’s Eve 2015/2016 party. It’s by and far the most indulgent thing I’ve ever put up on this site, which is saying a lot. I wanted to post this to make it real and to acknowledge it. If you don’t want to be sad or engage in my previous selfish, poisonous and sadsack behavior, then don’t listen! Yeehaw, folks. Find the link to the Spotify playlist below.
Note: two of the songs listed here are not on Spotify, so I linked them in the list below.
- Slint – “Don, Aman”
- Mount Eerie – “The Mouth Of Sky”
- Codeine – “Cigarette Machine”
- Duster – “Topical Solution”
- PJ Harvey – “Horses In My Dreams”
- Red House Painters – “Katy Song”
- Wild Beasts – “Invisible”
- Sergei Rachmaninoff – “Lilacs, Op. 21, No.5”
- Tim Hecker – “In The Air III”
- Eluvium – “Under The Water It Glowed”
- Broadcast – “You And Me In Time”
- Colleen – “Goodbye Sunshine”
- Majical Cloudz – “Heavy”
- Mica Levi – “Love”
- Dntel – “Anywhere Anyone”
- Dntel – “Pillowcase”
- Dntel – “Fear Of Corners”
- Mister Lies – “I Walk”
- Elite Gymnastics – “h e r e , i n h e a v e n 2”
- 2814 – “恢复”
- Drake & Future – “Diamonds Dancing”
- Portishead – “Sour Times”
- Holly Herndon – “An Exit (feat. Amnesia Scanner)”
- Oneohtrix Point Never – “Zebra”
- The Smiths – “Well I Wonder”
- Grouper – “Headache”
- The Microphones – “The Moon”
- Hundred Waters – “Forgive Me For Giving Up”
- Sarah Neufeld – “Where The Light Comes In”
- Sun Kil Moon – “Duk Koo Kim”
- Radiator Hospital – “Fireworks”
- Waxahatchee – “Noccalula”
- Alex G – “Hollow”
- My Bloody Valentine – “Sometimes”
- Neil Young – “On The Beach”
- Grouper – “Stuck”
- Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – “Magneto”
- Mirroring – “Fell Sound”
- Aphex Twin – “Blue Calx”
- Oneohtrix Point Never – “No Good”
If you have any requests on other themes to base some playlists around, I’m all ears! I’ve got a few that I’m still tweaking, but always got room for more. Hope you enjoy.